Change is Good?

This is a question that I have been dealing with lately as I have been dealing with lots of change. The thing is that the changes that happened that affected me were because of decisions made by others. So I ask: if change happens to you, out of your control, is it still good? Well if you had asked me that question a month ago I would’ve said a resounding NO. But now after I’ve had time to think and time to process everything that I would say now change may be hard in any form it takes but inevitably it does tend to be for the good. The decisions that were made were best for them and it also allowed me to change the dynamic at work. I found a whole new perspective on everything. Change really was good! It was hard and I cried a lot but now all I do is smile at the great way it has turned out for everybody. All of this upheaval made me think of a quote:

“In three words I can summon up everything I’ve learned about life… It goes on…” Robert Frost

That is the truth of it all. You can make all the plans in the world and more than likely they will fall apart in some way. Bad things happen, change happens made by you or thrust upon you and great things happen too and no matter what life does continue on. It all comes down to how you handle the change. It’s ok to be upset and sad and all your other valid feelings but then you have to accept the changes, deal with it and move on. Who knows you may be moving onto something great.

I want to share what makes me happy in times of upheaval.

My sweet boy Lincoln.

Sleepy kitty.

I am surveying my kingdom and the peasants who serve me.

Happy Wednesday!

New Year, New Hope

I am so happy to be back. This has been a strange, difficult year for us all but I pray for some normalcy this coming year. 2021 has got to be better. There is so much to look forward to do this year. I will get the Covid19 vaccine and I hope myself and my family will be better protected than we are now. We stay home mostly and always wear a mask when we are out. My hopes for this year is peace for everyone. I hope this is a year of calm and normalcy. I think everyone on the planet has earned that even the people who refused to cooperate and wear a mask. Everyone deserves the chance for happiness and we can’t pursue happiness when we can’t do anything. I do like to stay home as I am an introvert but not all the time like it has been since last March. Well I just wanted to say hello and to put something in writing to let the world know that I’m back and I hope to blog at least once a week. That is one of my goals for this year. I hope to give you some really great content too.

I also have big news, I adopted a kitty. I named him Lincoln and he is 3 years old.

Love,

Murph

The Book That Changed My Life

This year I’d like to share some things that have helped me to gain insight into life. Here was the situation: I had graduated from college and I couldn’t find a job to save my life. I was unemployed for a year and a half and the only good thing was that I could continue to stay at home and live with my parents. I loved being at home and my parents were great but I still felt like a big loser because here I am 25 years old with a college degree and I have to live at home with my parents to survive. I should’ve reframed my thinking to gratitude and just been grateful that I had parents who were willing to support me and let me live rent free. That kind of thinking comes with age and experience and back then I had none. I would go out for any job I could find, temp services and whatever else was out there. I went on interview after interview and never got the job. I was pretty down and felt really as if I wasn’t good enough for anything. Then I was in Barnes and Noble one day and I spotted the book Attitude is Everything by Keith Harrell and I bought it with what little money I had from my Mom (I know, I know but give me a break) anyway the book changed how I saw everything. I get nothing (not paid to plug the book) except satisfaction for telling you about this book so you know I honestly loved it.

I read the book cover to cover really fast and that’s when I discovered it all started with me and my own attitude. I conveyed what I felt even though I was putting on the happy interview face but I never really felt good about myself at that point. I was conveying my loser mentality through my loser attitude. So I started to practice what the book told me about attitude. How I felt about myself was important and I was worthy to get a job. So I just started to tell myself things such as: Today is going to be a great day, things are turning around for me and I am blessed to be able to find jobs to try for.

Finally I found my dream job and I applied for it and got an interview. I was so nervous but I kept thinking in my mind to project a positive attitude and believe that this job is already mine. I kept saying that over and over, this job belongs to me they just have to give it to me. I went into that interview confident with a winning attitude and do you know what happened? I got the job and it was my dream job. It was the job that started me on my career that I have today. I don’t think that if I hadn’t read that book when I did and implemented some of the mindset changes that I would not have gotten that job. Who knows where I would be today if I hadn’t. This book holds a special place in my heart as changing my life for the better and I still have this book and reread it whenever I need an attitude adjustment. A positive outlook on yourself and life is crucial to getting to where you want to go. If I could do it so can you.

I hope you have a superfantastic day (if you read the book you will know why I chose that word).

Fall Back

Tonight we will fall back an hour as Daylight Savings Time ends. I am glad that I will have an extra hour of sleep since I always seem to need extra sleep but it also reminds me that time is short. No one knows what the next day will bring so I say do your best everyday and you will be happy with yourself. Every day doesn’t have to be the best day ever but it can be a great day for you. We are also entering the holiday season soon and for some people it is the hardest time of the year. We are inundated with commercials and movies and really everywhere you look to see people with their families and friends and always having the most wonderful celebrations. There are many people out in the world who don’t have anyone and it makes it hard for them to see this pushed into their faces everyday until January 2.

For this holiday let’s do a challenge and try to see if we can be be kind to others and not judge them. Maybe volunteer or donate even if it’s just a little to some worthy cause. I’m going to try to do that. The past few months have been difficult for me and it is so easy to just get caught up in your problems, which I did, and it always helps me to look outside myself to pull myself out of my own thoughts. Maybe if we all tried this the world would be a better place. I only wanted to write a short post today to say that I am back and committed to this blog and posting regularly.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour.

Why Not Me

Sometimes I wonder about things in this world. I look around and I see everyone, it seems, doing better than me. I think why not me, why isn’t this happening for me. I know it’s bad to compare yourself to other people but I’m human and I do it. I have gotten better at it though and I don’t dwell on things constantly the way I used to. Anyway I find FB and Instagram really hard to take sometimes. Everyone seems to be traveling and having the best time of their life. Everyone seems to be a able to buy new things such as tech which I would love to buy. I know that it’s basically a brag book and people only post the best times but it still is hard to take when you don’t seem to be having any best times.

I love my job but the trade off is that I’m in a field where you don’t make a million dollars and never will. I’ve made that choice but it is so hard when you really try to do the right things financially and you never get ahead. The struggle never lets up it seems. I just hope it will soon. I keep my hopes and dreams alive by reminding myself that every day is a new day and I can continue to make the right choices and one day it will pay off. But did you ever feel like it will never pay off. I don’t think I’m the only one that feels that way. If that is the case then I just better stay away from social media. But I keep trudging along because I do have that hope. I hope that for all of you too. Keep going. Things do change and sometimes it’s slow but it will happen. I believe that because if I didn’t the struggling would be overwhelming and I couldn’t keep doing it. I hope you keep at it and you will triumph. After all why can’t it happen for me or for you. It can and it will.

Keep at it even when it feels like you’re trudging up a hill in knee deep mud. Never give up. Things change, that’s about the only true constant in life. Everything has to change in some way eventually.

Today is a sunny day and I’m going to find my joy in looking up at the bright blue sky. I may even do some cloud watching. My Mom loves to look at the sky and wonder what that cloud looks like. Find something simple to find your joy. It doesn’t have to cost a thing. Have a great week!

Tough Times

I’m sorry I haven’t written during the month of June. It has been a very rough month filled with turmoil and worry. My sister was very ill and ended up in the emergency room a couple times. Then we had to go to a neurologist to find out what was going on. She was diagnosed with something that has no cure but the pain can be managed with medicine. We hope it will just go into remission and she can get relief. But this scary time has made me realize once again how important it is to be there for the person you love. It made me terrified that I could lose her and I couldn’t even go there in mind because it would be too devastating. I am instead focused on being there for her and trying to find some happy medium in this dark time. I look to things that make me happy to get through tough times when I feel like I am at the bottom of a deep dark hole and all I can see is the smallest pinprick of light. It’s that small light that keeps me going and gives me hope. It’s the small things that I can find that give me a break from the upsetting things. That’s my hope that if anyone out there that is going through dark times know that you aren’t alone and try to find one small thing that makes you happy and hold onto that tight.

I want to share the one thing that I’ve been holding on to right now that has helped me. I started a little container garden on my balcony and just seeing the plants grow has brought me joy. They are something that I can take care of and watch grow.

Small tomato growing on my plant.
My little container garden.

I will write far more regularly and that is a promise. I wish all of you a very happy July. Enjoy your summer! Enjoy your life!

Adult Friendships

I have always thought that when I was a kid that making friends was hard but I now find that it’s even harder as an adult. When I think back I see that as a kid you have far more opportunities to make friends because you are around people your own age all the time. I always thought having friends was hard because it always seemed that I was the friend that was good enough until someone better came along and inevitably someone my “friend” thought was better ALWAYS came along. I think it is so much harder to meet potential friends as an adult because you have to make the effort to find them. It is so hard to go out because there are always adult responsibilities such as family or work and more often than not you are too tired at the end of the day to go anywhere (at least I am). I think I’ve wondered my whole life why I was always the afterthought friend and that was if I was even remembered at all. I think I am lucky to have two very good friends that I have had for years but they aren’t new friends. One I’ve had since high school and the other I met at work. I am always curious when I see other women with groups of friends and I wonder how do they do it. When did they meet them and what makes them stick together as friends. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer to that.

So these are the few things I’ve learned in my quest for friends as an adult.

Say yes to activities. It is important to go out and do stuff even if you don’t want to go you might have fun.
If someone who you’ve been a good friend to or tried to become friends with and they never take an interest in your life then dump them.
Reciprocity is important. If you are always the one to text them or call them first and they never think to text you first to see how you’re doing then it’s time to tell them to get lost. If they don’t value you enough to contact you and then you see them contacting other people then forget them. They are no real friend and you don’t need them.

These are things that have taken me many years to figure out. If someone says they can’t go out with you and then you see them out with other friends on Instagram then you know you need to stop trying to be their friend because they aren’t worth it. You are worth so much more and you will find a friend or two that will value you and the friendship you give. It’s taken me along time to know that fact about myself and I sure hope anyone who reads this knows that you have tremendous value of your own. Let you light shine!

5 Ways to Survive Monday

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a bit but I was having a stressful time and I had to re-center myself. I always have to stop and think and find my joy because that is the only way I handle stress when I feel overwhelmed. But I digress, this post is about surviving Monday or any day really in the adult world. This is how I get up in the morning and face another week.

Play a Happy Song: I play a happy, energetic song to wake me up. Right now I’m listening to Uptown Funk featuring Bruno Mars when I get up. I find that when I hear a beep or any kind of bell or ringing it makes me want to pull the covers over my head. When I listen to this song it makes me want to get right up.
Stretch: The first thing I do when I get up is stretch as I’m sitting up in my bed. It gets the blood flowing and it helps to wake up in the right frame of mind. It doesn’t have to be intense just five minutes will do.
Gratitude/Happiness Journal: I thought this was the craziest thing to do when I heard it. Write the things you are grateful for and it will help you and I thought no way! That’s stupid! Then I tried it and it really does work. It helps to think about the things that you are grateful for or the things that make you happy. I only write down three things but if you want to do five or more then you do what is right for you. I can only tell you that it puts me in the right frame of mind to face my day. I have some happy thoughts to carry me through my morning routine.
Calm Breathing: Sometimes work or life situations is more than I think I can handle so I stop and take some deep calming breaths. This helps me so much because it stops me from looking at the whole issue and I can just think about what is really important to get done first. Approaching anything in a calm frame of mind helps to focus on what needs doing.
Make Lists:
Once I get to work on a Monday, I sit down and do my task list for the week. Once I do this I can look at what I have to deal with at a glance. It helps me to face Monday and the rest of the week because I know what I have to do and I feel accomplished when I cross each item off the list. It helps me to keep everything in perspective so I don’t feel so much anxiety. I can take the list and cut it down into bite size pieces so that I can get the job done.

I know you have probably heard these tips before in a thousand different ways but this is what helps me to face anything. I hope this helps you face your Monday or any day whether it be work or school or just life. I’m no expert but I find that when I do these things consistently that I have a better positive outlook, When I have a positive outlook that brings its own happiness. I wanted to share what helps me everyday with you. I wish you all a great week and I will have another post on Friday.

The Struggle is Real

I wanted to be real and tell you that for the past few days I’ve been struggling. It’s impossible to be positive and happy all the time especially for someone like me. I wonder about the choices I’ve made and the fact that they have gotten me to where I am right now and in some respects I’m not happy about that. I’m not where I want to be in most aspects of my life. There are only two things I have that I love and that is my family and my job. I know that some people would say that’s more than some people have but everyone has their own measuring stick as to what they think makes them successful. I try and I try to look at the good things. I write in my gratitude journal and that is a big help most of the time. I would definitely recommend it. It takes a second just to write five quick things you are grateful everyday. It would be wrong of me to say that it works all the time because it isn’t working for me right now. But it will work in time because it always does eventually.

Did you ever think that you should be farther along than you are or that life really isn’t fair. I know it’s cliche but sometimes life really does suck. I’ve been someone who followed the straight and narrow path and never veered from what I was supposed to do or was expected to do from everyone around me. I thought that would guarantee me success with my life. But I struggle financially and that really brings me down emotionally. I will probably be paying my student loans long after I’m dead. It’s a burden that you start your life with right out of college. Anyway let’s just say I have lots of worries and frustrations and the feeling of being trapped. I sometimes feel like I am at the bottom of a big hole and every time I climb up just a little I get knocked back down. It is so frustrating. I just wanted to say sometimes dark days happen and you just have to ride it out until you get to the other side of it. Tomorrow I will feel a little better and the next day even more because I never give up. Sometimes I really want to but i never do. That’s I guess the most important message for today’s post and that is to never give up. Even when the dark cloud has descended upon you and you can’t find your way out just take a deep breath think of one good thing for that day and focus on that. Today my one grateful thought was that I could see and enjoy the sunshine. It’s a little thing but it helps me. It’s like the little grain of hope that you hate because it won’t let you give up and you want to but it’s there for that reason. It’s the spark of hope, it’s that tiny pinprick of light in that dark cloud. There is always a better day ahead no matter how hard today is. So I will leave you with this thought. Be grateful for just one small thing everyday and hold onto it tight and it will lead you back out of the dark to where happiness lives in the light. I wish happiness for everybody and I will always try to find it for myself too. Some days are more successful than others but I will keep climbing.

Always keep climbing my friends.

Fear vs. You

First of all I have to tell you something that just made me really happy. I just watched the season premiere of Game of Thrones and loved it!!! But it also got me thinking about fear. I would love to have a dragon of my own to ride and then I thought people would think that was stupid. Would I care though and the answer would be NO because I would have a freaking dragon. It is strange how my mind works but just stay with me and I promise this will make sense. Why do I, and maybe you, worry about the anonymous people that you don’t know that sit in judgement of your dream and why do any of us care. I have struggled with that my whole life, always being afraid of what “people” will think and then not doing what I wanted to do out of that fear of judgement. I have realized that those anonymous people aren’t even thinking about what you’re doing as much as you think they are. Truthfully everyone has their own stuff to deal with and they don’t care what you or I was doing. That realization took me a long time to understand. Now when it’s your friends who are judging you or holding you back then that means they aren’t your friend. What kind of friend wouldn’t want the best for someone they claim to care about. If it’s family that is judging you that makes it harder to deal with and they may be doing it out of their fear of change. It is no excuse but everyone fears change in one way or another and that’s when you have to just make the decision and plow right on through.

Here is what I’ve learned, do not let fear hold you back from your dream. You have to try no matter what. I was really afraid to start this blog and I put it off for a long time. I was afraid because I knew it would take time for me to learn how to make my website look good and I didn’t want everyone to think how much it sucks. I want everyone to see and hopefully think that what I write and put on my site is awesome. So I just thought to myself just get over it and start writing. Now I am hopefully creating a place where everyone can come and be themselves and maybe we can all learn from each other. That is my dream. So if I have one thing that I hope you take away from this post is never, never let fear of judgement or fear of following your dream stop you. The world needs me and you living our best life. I’m trying to do that and I hope you are to.

Have a great Monday and I’ll be back soon.