I have always thought that when I was a kid that making friends was hard but I now find that it’s even harder as an adult. When I think back I see that as a kid you have far more opportunities to make friends because you are around people your own age all the time. I always thought having friends was hard because it always seemed that I was the friend that was good enough until someone better came along and inevitably someone my “friend” thought was better ALWAYS came along. I think it is so much harder to meet potential friends as an adult because you have to make the effort to find them. It is so hard to go out because there are always adult responsibilities such as family or work and more often than not you are too tired at the end of the day to go anywhere (at least I am). I think I’ve wondered my whole life why I was always the afterthought friend and that was if I was even remembered at all. I think I am lucky to have two very good friends that I have had for years but they aren’t new friends. One I’ve had since high school and the other I met at work. I am always curious when I see other women with groups of friends and I wonder how do they do it. When did they meet them and what makes them stick together as friends. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer to that.
So these are the few things I’ve learned in my quest for friends as an adult.
- Say yes to activities. It is important to go out and do stuff even if you don’t want to go you might have fun.
- If someone who you’ve been a good friend to or tried to become friends with and they never take an interest in your life then dump them.
- Reciprocity is important. If you are always the one to text them or call them first and they never think to text you first to see how you’re doing then it’s time to tell them to get lost. If they don’t value you enough to contact you and then you see them contacting other people then forget them. They are no real friend and you don’t need them.
These are things that have taken me many years to figure out. If someone says they can’t go out with you and then you see them out with other friends on Instagram then you know you need to stop trying to be their friend because they aren’t worth it. You are worth so much more and you will find a friend or two that will value you and the friendship you give. It’s taken me along time to know that fact about myself and I sure hope anyone who reads this knows that you have tremendous value of your own. Let you light shine!
Happiness Preferred 