The Book That Changed My Life

This year I’d like to share some things that have helped me to gain insight into life. Here was the situation: I had graduated from college and I couldn’t find a job to save my life. I was unemployed for a year and a half and the only good thing was that I could continue to stay at home and live with my parents. I loved being at home and my parents were great but I still felt like a big loser because here I am 25 years old with a college degree and I have to live at home with my parents to survive. I should’ve reframed my thinking to gratitude and just been grateful that I had parents who were willing to support me and let me live rent free. That kind of thinking comes with age and experience and back then I had none. I would go out for any job I could find, temp services and whatever else was out there. I went on interview after interview and never got the job. I was pretty down and felt really as if I wasn’t good enough for anything. Then I was in Barnes and Noble one day and I spotted the book Attitude is Everything by Keith Harrell and I bought it with what little money I had from my Mom (I know, I know but give me a break) anyway the book changed how I saw everything. I get nothing (not paid to plug the book) except satisfaction for telling you about this book so you know I honestly loved it.

I read the book cover to cover really fast and that’s when I discovered it all started with me and my own attitude. I conveyed what I felt even though I was putting on the happy interview face but I never really felt good about myself at that point. I was conveying my loser mentality through my loser attitude. So I started to practice what the book told me about attitude. How I felt about myself was important and I was worthy to get a job. So I just started to tell myself things such as: Today is going to be a great day, things are turning around for me and I am blessed to be able to find jobs to try for.

Finally I found my dream job and I applied for it and got an interview. I was so nervous but I kept thinking in my mind to project a positive attitude and believe that this job is already mine. I kept saying that over and over, this job belongs to me they just have to give it to me. I went into that interview confident with a winning attitude and do you know what happened? I got the job and it was my dream job. It was the job that started me on my career that I have today. I don’t think that if I hadn’t read that book when I did and implemented some of the mindset changes that I would not have gotten that job. Who knows where I would be today if I hadn’t. This book holds a special place in my heart as changing my life for the better and I still have this book and reread it whenever I need an attitude adjustment. A positive outlook on yourself and life is crucial to getting to where you want to go. If I could do it so can you.

I hope you have a superfantastic day (if you read the book you will know why I chose that word).

Fall Back

Tonight we will fall back an hour as Daylight Savings Time ends. I am glad that I will have an extra hour of sleep since I always seem to need extra sleep but it also reminds me that time is short. No one knows what the next day will bring so I say do your best everyday and you will be happy with yourself. Every day doesn’t have to be the best day ever but it can be a great day for you. We are also entering the holiday season soon and for some people it is the hardest time of the year. We are inundated with commercials and movies and really everywhere you look to see people with their families and friends and always having the most wonderful celebrations. There are many people out in the world who don’t have anyone and it makes it hard for them to see this pushed into their faces everyday until January 2.

For this holiday let’s do a challenge and try to see if we can be be kind to others and not judge them. Maybe volunteer or donate even if it’s just a little to some worthy cause. I’m going to try to do that. The past few months have been difficult for me and it is so easy to just get caught up in your problems, which I did, and it always helps me to look outside myself to pull myself out of my own thoughts. Maybe if we all tried this the world would be a better place. I only wanted to write a short post today to say that I am back and committed to this blog and posting regularly.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour.

Tough Times

I’m sorry I haven’t written during the month of June. It has been a very rough month filled with turmoil and worry. My sister was very ill and ended up in the emergency room a couple times. Then we had to go to a neurologist to find out what was going on. She was diagnosed with something that has no cure but the pain can be managed with medicine. We hope it will just go into remission and she can get relief. But this scary time has made me realize once again how important it is to be there for the person you love. It made me terrified that I could lose her and I couldn’t even go there in mind because it would be too devastating. I am instead focused on being there for her and trying to find some happy medium in this dark time. I look to things that make me happy to get through tough times when I feel like I am at the bottom of a deep dark hole and all I can see is the smallest pinprick of light. It’s that small light that keeps me going and gives me hope. It’s the small things that I can find that give me a break from the upsetting things. That’s my hope that if anyone out there that is going through dark times know that you aren’t alone and try to find one small thing that makes you happy and hold onto that tight.

I want to share the one thing that I’ve been holding on to right now that has helped me. I started a little container garden on my balcony and just seeing the plants grow has brought me joy. They are something that I can take care of and watch grow.

Small tomato growing on my plant.
My little container garden.

I will write far more regularly and that is a promise. I wish all of you a very happy July. Enjoy your summer! Enjoy your life!

Adult Friendships

I have always thought that when I was a kid that making friends was hard but I now find that it’s even harder as an adult. When I think back I see that as a kid you have far more opportunities to make friends because you are around people your own age all the time. I always thought having friends was hard because it always seemed that I was the friend that was good enough until someone better came along and inevitably someone my “friend” thought was better ALWAYS came along. I think it is so much harder to meet potential friends as an adult because you have to make the effort to find them. It is so hard to go out because there are always adult responsibilities such as family or work and more often than not you are too tired at the end of the day to go anywhere (at least I am). I think I’ve wondered my whole life why I was always the afterthought friend and that was if I was even remembered at all. I think I am lucky to have two very good friends that I have had for years but they aren’t new friends. One I’ve had since high school and the other I met at work. I am always curious when I see other women with groups of friends and I wonder how do they do it. When did they meet them and what makes them stick together as friends. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer to that.

So these are the few things I’ve learned in my quest for friends as an adult.

Say yes to activities. It is important to go out and do stuff even if you don’t want to go you might have fun.
If someone who you’ve been a good friend to or tried to become friends with and they never take an interest in your life then dump them.
Reciprocity is important. If you are always the one to text them or call them first and they never think to text you first to see how you’re doing then it’s time to tell them to get lost. If they don’t value you enough to contact you and then you see them contacting other people then forget them. They are no real friend and you don’t need them.

These are things that have taken me many years to figure out. If someone says they can’t go out with you and then you see them out with other friends on Instagram then you know you need to stop trying to be their friend because they aren’t worth it. You are worth so much more and you will find a friend or two that will value you and the friendship you give. It’s taken me along time to know that fact about myself and I sure hope anyone who reads this knows that you have tremendous value of your own. Let you light shine!